SEX SEX SEX: Why this word gets your attention

So apparently, I did get your attention, that’s why you’re currently reading this, right? It always wondered me why people get distracted, or attention is immediately taken upon hearing words such as boobs, ass, and of course, sex. Just a heads up, this is a very opinionated article.

‘Sex’ in general can automatically get someone’s attention, like it did to you as a reader. This is probably because curiosity arises for things in which humans are by nature interested in, no matter what age, race, or sexual orientation implies.

Some might not know, but Maslow’s hierarchy of needs actually include sex as a basic physiological need, which is kind of ‘cool’ in the sense that you can have it as an excuse to your girlfriend or wife for like, every day.. or not.. Anyway, to sum things up, besides the fact that it is essential, well, it is a very satisfying feeling, isn’t it? I believe that’s why terms like Friends with Benefits, no strings attached and FuBu or Fuck Buddies were invented and practiced after all.

Besides those aforementioned, I just can’t find any conclusion as to why this word heeds more attention than other more important things like economics, religion, and politics affecting our countries inconspicuously but drastically. Sex is a very broad topic but is very much closeted into a limited explanation as well. Besides Sigmund Freud’s theory relating our libidos to personality development and driving force of our behaviors, basically it just means either love, reproduction, or the feeling and relief it brings to a person, simple as that. So why of all words, this?

Sex as love. Love as a feeling. With a very obvious explanation, for very conservative women, they rather call sex as ‘love-making’ where you do it out of your Oxytocin.

Sex as reproduction. For multiplying as the word implies. Used as a tool of spreading your genes to another generation.

Sex as a feeling. Because it feels nice, comforting, fun and all those other words you can think of.

Sex as a relief. For your boners, wet V’s to minister your arousing horniness.

Basically in a subjective tone, the word grabs your attention because of curiosity where you can come out of your comfort zone without being judged and redefine it as to how others see it. Their perspective as much as this post of mine may not really influence you or affect you but even negate your own opinion of it, but the thought of it lingers through your mind and will continue to grab your attention to further increase your curiosity upon.

This article was first published in Bubblews, but I decided I would not further my adventure there. So I’m posting it here now.


The Deal with Chinky Eyes: Stereotyped Chinese

So I saw this post on my Facebook feeds (FB influences me a lot lately) from Candy Magazine’s digital content a few days ago. It was an article entitled 10 Things That Every Chinita Girl Can Relate To. After reading the post, I felt the need to share and caption it with caps lock on how the list was lacking so much. So here I am, trying to fill the article with my own perspective, a chinita (I’m Chinese, really) But actually, I just have nothing better to blog about.

Let me first start by emphasizing my own struggles with CandyMag’s list.

1. Having monolids is a real struggle.

Whenever someone decides on doing my make-up for a photoshoot. The whole process will involve me cursing my own eyes. My good friend Jed, who often does my make-up, literally has to put on a hefty big layer of eyeliners just so it’ll come out on photos. And yes, it looks funny whenever I have my eyes close – like really.

2. Being asked what random Chinese characters mean.

People would assume I automatically know the meaning (and care) about Chinese characters whenever I see them.. And it’s not like they would actually know if I translated 你是笨蛋 as you’re really beautiful, ne?

3. I can’t laugh so much especially on crucial situations.

Yes, I have a thin view. And that decreases to just a line whenever I think someone’s face is a total joke I hear about a friend’s idiocy. Yep. Especially walking down the stairs or crossing the streets.. you know..

4. Being a math wizard.

Well majority of Chinese people are, especially if it involves money, ha! But it might have been because the school I graduated from in high school has the best Math curriculum around. Our school kick butts on Math competitions and send award-winning delegates to international competitions and win. But nope, not me, I despise Math. But TBH, most of us who graduated from that school were like math wizards in college, even for Math majors, because we were “trained” hard. Hell I ace exams not even attending lectures.

5. Getting the eye on Chinese-Philippine issues.

Okay. When the Scarborough Shoal territorial issue came in the picture, I had a professor in college who apparently decided to make a joke out of it saying “Huwag kang tumabi diyan, baka agawin ka rin niya” (Don’t sit beside her, she might steal you, too) to my best friend who was beside me. It wasn’t exactly offending to me, but it does bother me why we’re generalized that way. And to think of it, my grandmother mentioned that they were already studying Scarborough Shoal in China’s geography way back when she was still little. So meh.

6. Having a business of sort… in 168/ Divisoria.

These two somewhat became a combination. I was asked a few times whether or not our family had a business. Though my answer was a stereotyped ‘yes’ it was followed by an immediate question whether or not we have a store somewhere in Divisoria. Not all Chinitas or Chinese have a business, more so a space rented in Binondo, okay. XD

7. Hopia, siopao, lumpia, tikoy manufacturers.

Need I say more? I don’t think I need to post this as a status whenever Chinese New Year is coming, yes?

8. Being in a fixed marriage.

I once joked my mom to admit it whether or not I was actually in an arranged marriage. Just so I won’t hate her for falling in love when I literally don’t have any right on. It kind of disappoints me I’m not haha. I don’t have anyone to blame if my marriage doesn’t go well. Lol.  But I do have some Chinese friends (ho are not even 100% Chinese for that matter) who are actually being introduced and supported to be with a friend’s son or daughter. Like wow, it does happen. But those aside, the world is already too modern to have these fixed marriages lying around anywhere. It just works for the more traditional ones.

9. Getting involved in impromptu Chinese monologues.

“Salita ka nga ng Chinese!” (Speak Chinese!) My friends would often ask. It’s kind of weird though.. much like reading Chinese characters, they won’t know if I’m actually swearing. Haha.

10. Being extremely frugal and stingy.

This is probably one of the most stereotypes I do want to admit. While there are those who actually spends unnecessarily like me, there are also those who are very outright ungenerous to the point that it’s embarrassing. But it’s actually really part of the Chinese nature.

11. Having Tan, Lee and Ang surnames.

There are a lot of other surnames besides this.. not as much as Filipinos, but we do have some more besides these. I was asked before by a friend’s mom after knowing I’m Chinese if my surname is Tan. Like really.. it’s the only surname out there. There are also surnames that does not only consists of a syllable and is usually a combination of a lot.. like Yuchengco or Tanlimco.

12. Having a vacation in China.

I actually have a few friends from wayback high school who do spend their Christmas and Summer vacation in China. But not everyone does. There are a lot of Chinese born and raised in the Philippines such as myself, and while my grandparents do have a house in China, they also don’t go there as much as they have come to love the Philippines, too.

13. The “Ang Chinese ay para lang sa Chinese” (Chinese are meant for Chinese only)

Okay, here’s one more of the most asked phrase I get. This is yet another nature for Chinese, but since Chinese people can actually be found just about anywhere, its unlikely to stay with that tradition for everyone. But there are also a lot who prefer Chinese partners in the sense that it makes them feel more secure having the same nature, background as well as dialect. But this usually goes based on personal preference rather than a tradition being upheld. As much as Filipinos have generalized insights with Chinese and other nationalities, Chinese do have them too, so they rather keep their families from the same decent.

14. Living in Chinatown.

Well this.. No, not all the Chinese in Manila lives in Ongpin/ Chinatown or Binondo. If that’s the case Ongpin would be swarmed with yellow people and it will certainly remind everyone of MRT in rush hour because there are a lot of Chinese in the Philippines.

15. Being called GI, intsik, and chekwa.

Honestly according to what I heard, these are supposedly insulting; it may be aligned with calling Filipinos indio or something. But then again, I already got used to it, and most of those who are supposedly offended do not know what it means so no harm done.

I am actually still thinking of some more.. and will hopefully get back to this haha. I have already loved the Philippines and I am admitting I rather be here than in China.

What did they do to you?

The LRT and MRT are probably the fastest mode of transport across cities especially during the rush hours. Falling in line to get on a train takes longer than the actual transport, yet, several Filipinos opt for this instead of spending time in a 20-kilometer long parking in EDSA. Despite being squeezed sardines in a sweat-inducing train cart, it has become the daily commuting life of several of our countrymen.

I came across an article by Filipinews shared by a public artist fan page, the piece was entitled Filipino Celebrities Who Took the MRT Challenge.

I was thinking of something to do for the afternoon, and reading one of the comments on that post made me decide on writing about it.

To quote:

you see, the frustrating thing about this is that they only see this as a challenge. it is an experience that they wanted to try when in fact, thousands of filipinos literally live this kind of “challenge” every single day.
after taking videos/photos of this, these celebrities are free to get out and return to their comforts. they are able to detach themselves from this reality because this is not their reality.”

First of all, I am saluting the person who posted this. She was actually able to deliver a sensible message that is not just a long piece of rant. It also made her garner over 100 likes in less than 24 hours from other FIlipinos who agree. It is actually a challenge faced by thousands of Filipinos every single day and these artists take this as a fun thing to do, a publicity stunt or whatever, actually. It doesn’t really matter what the actual purpose is, because whether or not what they say is actually true, Filipinos will always bat an eye and notice the littlest of things.

I do have some insights though.

These artists have their lives almost pasted on their foreheads wherever they go. Every little thing they do, good or bad, it makes or breaks their image. Truth be told, we are the ones who actually make them. Because if no one patronizes them, then it’s been long since their contracts has been held off by TV channels.

Yes, they can definitely detach themselves from the idea of this transportation reality because they have private cars and they can literally sleep with their leg up high listening to metal or even Swift music while munching on a burger and fries combo. But despite this, none of them is actually rich (or crazy) enough to buy their own Charlie Tango and travel across cities whenever they want. Despite themselves being in the comfort of their cars, they still face the traffic along EDSA just like everyone else- just like your normal Filipino.

What really made me write about this is the issue on how shallow-minded some people are. I’m sure a lot of these artists would prefer taking public transport simply because it’s cheaper than your juggling gasoline price and is actually faster most of the time. But if these artists actually decide to ride the train on a regular basis, they’ll be making their way out of your average Filipino asking for autographs, or a selfie just to boast around FB and IG on a regular basis as well. Why?  because we make them what they are. If they were regular Filipinos who made their way to be social media’s viral content, we would often read “Proud Filipino Here!” but those who show pride for their country suddenly disappear- shamed even by our own people, when an issue deeming a bad image to the country is presented.

Besides, why hate? Of course, some of these artists were born on a silver platter, but then again, at least one person took effort to serve that plate to them. It’s still someone’s hard-earned effort. And if they are not, they work as much (or even more) than a lot of us to get what they earn and to buy what they want like their private transports. I’m sure it’s unlikely your common FIlipino knows about their schedule, but as far as I know, we get more sleep than them.

The challenge has more bad implications than good, just because of the fact that these butt-hurt Filipinos cannot agree to the fact that some people can live their lives by doing commercials, showing themselves up on events or acting out on whichever telenovela plot that can sell sponsorship and whatnot. Which again, is caused by us, the majority of Filipinos, they are who we make them.

It could have been the site lost the best vocabulary to describe the experience of these artist, but then again, it can also be because Filipinos do not really understand what it means. We all know how these train rides is an actual challenge, then, just because some famous celebrities decide on taking on this so-called challenge, they are judge for looking down on public transport and calling the tough everyday commuting lives of others a challenge.

I am in no means a friend of any artist, nor am I a racist blogger who just wants to produce something to publish on her blog. But hear me out. A lot of people are selfish enough to only post their side of the story, it’s not like these artist could read them more so care about it when they are already judged just by showing up on TV. But looking at it from another party’s perspective should be done more often, not only by Filipinos, but everyone in general.

What hurts more, coming from a broken family, or not knowing the family is broken?

I had come to my senses.

Growing up in a broken family is what I thought can make me a stronger and a better person. I’m sure as hell there are a lot who can vouch how strong of a person I am and it’s something I always saw as a compliment. But yet again, when fate seem to play with your feelings, it’s not the easiest to stay firm on your ground when everything else is falling apart.

I didn’t expect myself to be letting out my feelings in a burst of tears. I never ever wanted to come to the point when I need to be 10 years younger, not knowing what to do and not understanding a thing. And it hurts how I had already come to that.

I remember going on outings with my aunt and uncle, to Enchanted Kingdom, eating out, and even once in an overnight to Subic complete with a tent and a grill. I was even playing Badminton or flying kites in Luneta back when I was in Elementary. My dad would always bring me there every single Sunday. I always looked forward to it. Till it became twice a month, then never at all. Those are my clearest memory from childhood that I want to keep alive in my mind. The days when I always thought of our family as the perfect one.

But then, fate had to ruin it. All those memories shattered into tiny little pieces piercing my heart of the perfect family I thought of. My dad, having a second family. It didn’t bother me at all, of course not. I was only 9 then, I think. But I do remember having to finish a carton of tissue in my mother’s store while flushing myself in nothing but tears.

The next year after that, my dad invited me to go out with him on his Birthday. He told me the same story my mom told, but I was hearing his side. I remember we were in SM Manila’s food court then, I had a plate of steak and my dad sitting in front of me.

Those were the days when none of it mattered to me. My dad still went home despite. It was as if nothing happened. But the frequency of seeing him diminishes little by little. I didn’t mind. I was still able to see him 5 times a week.. to 3.. to once a week.. to twice a month.. to once in three. But it never bothered me. Because I was still able to call him whenever I like, whenever my mom and I would fight, he’ll lend his ears and comfort me through the cellphone. It was as if he was never actually gone. He was actually my hero, still.

As I was growing, I began to understand what he left. I graduated college and realized the responsibilities he was slowly letting go of and how my mom took all the burden into sustaining the family both financially and emotionally. filling up the emptiness  even though she is also broken.

My mom would always tell us that we’re lucky we grew up with my dad, whereas my sister grew up not having to bond with him or anything. But I say, it’s harder to live being left by someone despite your memories than not knowing them at all.

My mom would occasionally text my dad about her rants on the responsibilities he left. And instead of producing results, my dad would rather seenzone her texts. Just the other day, my dad went home.. and after seeing my mom in the house, he left. Avoiding conflict? I don’t know. But I know my mom sure was pissed. She felt that my dad was making nothing into an issue when it didn’t matter to her if she sees him or not.

My dad texted and messaged me on Facebook apologizing that he had to leave. I, of course, slightly scolded him on how that was a bad move. Which eventually lead our conversation into me scolding him some more.

And I never thought I’ll be able to say this while drowning in my own tears.

“true, we don’t hear your side. but if this is actually a blame game.. well we both know what started this. and of course i don’t want to come to the point that we have to discuss way-back-history. maybe yes, what’s happening is way beyond your control but then maybe no too.. but it isn’t in mom’s hand either. Exactly why you both, and even us kids have to exert a little more effort.. but then, ikaw yung bumitaw sa responsibility, dad. do you really expect us to just always understand that it’s out of your hand and you’re doing your best? it’s not that we’re always with mom to be able to feel and say this eh. for the record, she doesnt even know of this conversation. 6 years pa mag-aaral si shobe. who knows what avenue is already after 5 years, or even after this year lang. hindi naman malaki kinikita namin ni ahya to sustain every meal, necessities, shobe’s education, house rent, electricity and all those.”
“i don’t know how this conversation is going to affect our relationship.. I love you and I respect you dad, we all do. but at times, I really do question why this is all happening. Or if you even feel we’re as important as those in bulacan. we should be the one who’s asking if you still love us. We could have been the perfect family dad eh. back when we were still flying kites every sunday or vacationing in Subic. funny, those are the memories i rather keep to be able to actually feel you do. but look at it now. it’s no where near and sad to say everything is close to falling apart. akala mo madali yung gantong setup? hindi kita sinusumbatan dad, it’s too late for that. but i hope you sometimes feel how we do kasi if you think you don’t feel our love, paano pa kaming naiwan?”
He hasn’t replied yet, but I know that would hit him right in the mark knowing him. I know I’m his favorite kid and those coming from me is a first.
But I don’t really know how this is going after. I’m ready for it.. I’m just half as glad as I’m relieved that I was able to finally tell him what I feel. What’s happening next? I don’t know. But I do hope it injects a little sense to him.
As for the title.. it hurts.. a lot. And words cannot describe how I really feel, more so how my mom feels. But I rather get hurt with the truth every day, than believe in a lie that everything’s okay when it’s not and find out when it’s too late. At least I can fully support, defend and love my mom all the way as she did to us since we were having only half a dad.
I honestly don’t know whether or not I prefer not being an adult and live in the fantasy of the perfect family. But this is reality… and it hurts 100 times more than I can blog it.

How Can Someone Not Think?

Remember telling yourself that you’ll be sleeping early tonight but the whole week passed and you’re still up until 2am? Then, with whatever twist of faith, one day, you had your lights out at 11pm to finally be able to fulfill that goal. Then you suddenly remember your conversation with your crush, a vacation you’re looking forward to, or just wondering why you painted your ceiling a bright green. When you decided to finally sleep, you notice the time already ticking at 1am. You are not alone.

In the last 3 years, I have had migraine, low blood pressure, heart burn, and the most recent muscle contraction tension headache. I have been wondering why, especially after resigning from my toxic 10/6 schedule then (10hrs a day/6-day work) why these are still present. The last two doctors I went to, told me “masyado kang mahilig mag-isip,” you’re too fond of thinking. After careful pondering, I realized they were actually right. And my nail biting habit just proves that.

photo from

Taking a shower makes you indulge deep into thoughts, I hear that common culture, for lack of better analogy, a lot. But TBH, so does taking a dump, the time when traveling or before heading to bed.

I have no idea how people meditate. How can someone empty their minds? How can someone not think, ponder, reflect or whatever especially for so long?

Whenever I sleep, I need to think of the word sleep, literally. Like actually performing an internal monologue where I say the words “tulog” repeatedly in my mind. It’s my way of emptying my mind to rest. The only time I don’t need to do this is when I’m feeling really exhausted from a whole day hike or extremely ill with a 40C fever.

So I wonder if this question is answerable, how do you stop thinking too much?

This is also probably the reason why my writing takes a lot of my time. I want to write different topics at the same time, and different things while writing a certain topic. In the end, I keep none of those thoughts. I need to be able to write it down on a scrap piece of paper or prioritize the more important concept because the idea will woosh away in less than 5 seconds. But because of this, even though my thoughts are spectacular (lol), everything tends to be flushed down because I want to keep all those thoughts I came across with at the same time knowing I won’t be able to remember it after. Screw me right? This is probably also the reason why I have extremely long sentences filled with commas and at times none and my managing editor, ate KC, back when I was still a part of our university student press chops off my sentences like hell. Haha!

It is the very reason why I hate writing article or book outlines even though they help a lot. Whenever I write, I literally just write, and when I come to my senses, that’s when I organize the thoughts so it won’t reflect my messy mind so much. And I just noticed that this is also the reason I also claimed the WP URL justlostinthoughts, so I’ll switch to that URL any time soon.

As much as I  want to consider it a rhetorical question, it’s not. It’s becoming a pain how I have to talk to myself to get some nice rest, or I’ll continue on thinking on everything else besides it. Organizing plans for tomorrow, scheduling my life in the next years to come, or cross-breeding a mice and a cat because why not. It goes random and ridiculous, as long as I think, and it’s a nonstop process. It is the very reason why I love Lelouch Vi Britannia of Code Geass. He loves to think, and for sure, if I come across someone who has the ability to read minds like Mao from the same show, I’ll surely be toast.

Hell, I can’t even properly lay down my thoughts on this post as there’s so much action in my mind and I’m unable to put it into words nor type it as fast as my mind is processing.

So, going back to the question, how can someone not think?

LOL, and despite the song as my BG music unrelated to this whole thought, I am asking, I know I’m not the only one (Sam Smith)

The Rants Over Presidency

Every 6 years, we vote for whoever we see fit for the presidential position. But as each term ends, it was as if we didn’t defend them before they ran for candidacy. We curse their unfulfilled platforms and regret wasting our precious votes for them in the first place.

I find it irritating how those who belong in the mid-lower C class, lie down in the dirty streets of just-about-anywhere for the rest of the day and expect to have a better life. Then, they blame whoever is in power and insist poverty (and the unending list of issues) is not resolved. We live in a third world country, but despite it’s actual meaning and the status of the countries that belong in it, the stereotype drives us down to being called poor. Well we are, right? Point is, we could always be poor and it’ll depend on our choices in life, but we can always stand up, work a little more than usual, and be a little less poorer than we were yesterday without the help of the government. We all want to be spoon-fed, but any easy task won’t work if we don’t.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a pro-PNoy nor any of his family tree’s supporter for that matter. I am not siding anyone but it bothers me a lot how everyone is putting the blame on the higher ups but fail to see themselves ruining their chances of getting a better life.

With the Fallen 44 SAF members, my mom and I couldn’t let go of the argument that PNoy has something to do with it. I for one, insisted that PNoy has no control over military decisions even with his position. Despite his probable opinion or justification over the matter then, the final decision still lies on the Director General of Philippine National Police. But despite this, people fail to see and realize that this is not a matter of presidential or a director general’s decision but rather a team that is just embodied by a single higher official to act as the official representation. Ever since the SAF news came, it’s as if the president never did anything right that made some people contest on his qualifications over the position where some even asks for him to come down.

But generally speaking, have we come to a point where we would agree that a certain person is best fitting for a position after his term? There was, and always will be someone who will see the wrong things and think of it as an ill choice of the voting community. No matter how fancy their platform sounds, or how great their missions, visions and achievements are, there will always be imperfections and at least one person will find the person unworthy of the position. No president can please everyone at the same time.  We will never ever be able to please everyone.

Those are just two of my concerns. There are several other criticisms and rants our government and president gets. From passing unimportant bills to hopefully fixing issues that can start with ourselves, like poverty. I am no Filipino by blood, but I am 100% Filipino by heart. And it kills my patriotic affection when I see Filipinos giving up on their own country and settling for simpler solutions like migrating. We seem to be satisfied on how something can affect us, our relatives and close friends, but not the wider perspective of our neighbors, acquaintances and countrymen, killing the chance of a better country that starts with the small entities of a nation.

The only question we need to answer is who is worth it for those imperfections and who is deserving for the troubles, bumpy rides, and risks the country is gonna experience for another 6 years to hopefully achieve the goal? One single question with no definite or correct answer, and we killed the chance of proving it wrong by settling for the easier life.

Killing Boredom in 20 ways

This is probably one of the most difficult problem to solve among poverty and political corruption.

When you’re a movie junkie, you probably would get bored since you’re already too updated with shows and have already watched them. Much like my movie-buddy who is occasionally bored and would PM me just to prevent himself from being idle. I joked him to separate the ingredients of 3-in-1 instant coffee and he would if he could. LOL. So I thought I’d make up a list of things you can do when you’re bored and dedicate this to him just so. Haha! This is for you kuya R. XD

  1. Stalk your friends and like their photos from way back 2005! It’ll surely spring up to your common friends’ news feed and will hit just the mark of friendly hating.
  2. Do some stretching. The actual exercise is good. But apparently, doing some stretching like how you would do in your morning routine feels great too.
  3. Write up a bucket list. Because why not? We all want to do something at least once in our life right? No matter how ridiculous it might be.
  4. Day dream. I don’t know if this is good or bad, but one thing I am sure of is it practices our creativity. Plus, you do want a sequel on the dream you had dating your long time crush right?
  5. Make your own song and annoy your sibling with it. Because irritating your siblings is the next best thing to pizza and BLT.
  6. Wear a shirt that says “Life” and hand out lemons. Need I say more?
  7. Read up your old blog posts or diary. Nothing’s funnier than ranting over your little sister eating the last piece of your favorite doughnut in the fridge.
  8. 9gag and 9gag TV! My personal favorite pastime.
  9. Roll on your bed… literally. I do this a lot. Haha! It’s fun.
  10. Write a poem. It doesn’t need to make sense. Random things in a stanza can sound interesting you know.
  11. Write a letter to your future self. Tell yourself your memorable experiences so far or a reminder to your “past” self.
  12. Take a bath and think of logical things. Like career… or family. Because taking a bath and deep-thinking goes well together as much as the shower and singing.
  13. Read facts and trivia. Everything’s interesting when you’re bored. It’s time to boost up some knowledge about random stuff.
  14. Message some high school friends and catch up. I know a lot of circles who drift away from each other after graduation. This is a good time to say hello.
  15. Cook. Look for recipes or try out your kitchen skills. You might discover a new dish that could beat Master Chefs.
  16. Look at old photo albums. Memories!
  17. Watch videos by HowToBasics on Youtube. Don’t ask. It’s entertaining.
  18. Clean up your e-mail. You don’t need to say it.. but we all know how messed up your e-mail is from all your registrations from social media accounts and subscribing to sites you don’t really read.
  19. Download fonts. This might be the most subjective of the list, I’m sorry. I fancy fonts. Besides, you’ll never know when you need to make a wedding invitation or something.
  20. Take selfies. Honestly I’m sleepy right now and can’t think of anything else. XD But this is one way, right?

Imma add some more on this list when I come up of something while being bored too. Ha.

My Things Have Personalities

We all have that one pillow, stuffed toy or a blanket that came from our childhood we can’t let go, even though it already served its purpose, or is already claiming retirement based on its current aesthetics. But those aside, at some point, you probably named it, the same as your best friend’s, or a favorite cartoon character, I don’t know. But one thing is sure, I, for one, named and still names my stuff.

My favorite pillow is Cyan, though it doesn’t hold any important detail why it’s named that way besides that my favorite pillow case that goes with it is a shade of blue.. I was 5 years old then and I rather keep it that way because it reminds me of the good times some 15 years ago.

I know some people who name their things just as I do. A close friend Gian calls his tablet, Tabby, FTW! Why? I dunno.

But then, I realized, it’s probably a way of personalizing what’s yours, like putting a part of yourself to it. Asking yourself what name goes well with this thing takes effort and time no matter how small it is. And you won’t exert effort or waste time like thinking of a name for something you don’t deem of importance.. you know, it’s like considering it as family.

TBH, I even give ALL my stuffed dolls their own personalities up until this day. I’m not sure if this is something only a kid does, but it has become a second nature for me whenever I gain something I deem of importance or sentimental value. It’s not something I announce to the world, but I thought being sentimental is something you can share.

I got an Eeyore stuffed doll from a friend way back first year high (2006), before I thought of giving it a name, a friend asked. Then I thought, “I’ll name it after you, bruh.” So my donkey, even though it’s supposed to be a guy, is named after my girl friend, Weena. Haha! She has a personality too. She’s rich and smart and is annoying in the sense that she’ll be rude to you when you’re stupid. She’s awfully jealous whenever she thinks someone will replace her as the favorite doll of the lot. And since a lot has come, she’s starting to be kinder to fit in.

Also, I instantly fell in love with a cream-colored bunny in a local shop near my place. I was thinking of a name on my way home and called her Kimberly eventually. She’s super adorable and kind. She loves Taekwondo and painting but hates school big time. She also has this thing for the letter W where she includes it in pronunciation of words such as Phowtow and Taekwondoww. Currently she’s rushing to paint eggs for Easter and should not be disturbed unnecessarily unless if it’s for her favorite food, chowkow. LOL.

My sister and I usually role play our stuffed dolls. Haha! This is the not-so-exposed-slash-girly-side of me. LOL! Don’t judge me. This is called practicing creativity. Haha!

Anyway, my point is, naming things and attaching personalities with them gives us the ability to share a part of our own self to it. We tend to care more about these things as well. I’m betting there are a lot who still don’t understand why this is necessary, but for some, it’s just also a way of knowing themselves as well. Their identity, way of thinking and how they manage things around them. We name our pets. Why not our things? When it’s not living it doesn’t mean it’s dead. It still serves its purpose to us and a little appreciation such as naming doesn’t cost us a lot.

Ragnarok PH: Payon Tables You Will Be Missed

Patintero, piko, tumbang preso, chinese garter, and a lot more were part of the 90’s kids’ childhood. That was over a decade ago, when kids loved to play outdoors with their neighbors, or indoors with bahay-bahayan, board games, and pogs. But soon enough, modernity caught up with these kids, where they became inclined with computers and technological games were introduced.

I was in grade 4, way back 2003 when I first played Ragnarok Online (RO) at a computer shop near our place. Those were the days when I thought that those who owned cellphones, even with antennas, were considered of upper-class, and those with DSL connection were God-like.

The sad truth is, pRO is going to be shut down by end of March according to the this article from Level Up! Games. The news is truly saddening, as this game was a huge part of a lot of childhood memories.

I remember, there were only pay-to-play (P2P) servers then, and since I was only 10 years old, I had no capacity to pay for prepaid cards, more so spend money and time inside computer shops. I was only able to play once with the help of my brother then, spamming over status points where I didn’t even know what they were for. Lol.

Fast forwarding, in my first year in High school around 2006, I was introduced with pRO or Philippine Ragnarok Online, by again, my sibling. Franchised by Level Up! Games from the International RO as a free-to-play (F2P) server. We still didn’t have DSL connection then, and I would often see myself spending my week’s allowance for ISP Bonanza cards worth 100php for 20 hours. I was often mad when someone calls at home as it disrupts the connection, and reconnecting takes time. Good old days…

When we finally had a proper internet connection, my brother and I would often find ourselves arguing and fighting on who will use the PC then. He would often be scolded too because he is the kuya and he should understand. My bro probably hated me then.

Prontera was filled with vending merchants then. Ai programs such as bots were more than the people actually playing, and those actually playing are mostly hanging out in various towns to just sit and talk with virtual friends. It was indeed a channel where you meet people you can jive with.

Whenever I come home from school, I would often boot the PC, click on pRO Valkyrie server, select my main character, a priestess, then, and hang out with people from Payon Town tables. Our friends even often joked about how we will all be max leveled if only sitting down to hang out had base and job experience for our characters.

Here’s my favorite spot, the lower left corner of the first table from the Kafra Employee NPC.

I tailed my sib into a guild that just started with strangers who had a common tambayan. Several guilds were made, all with different purposes. From Player Vs. Player (PVP), Player Vs. Monster (PVM), harvesting, brotherhood and War of Emperium (WoE).

I don’t spend as much as some friends I have who would often buy UBEs or Ninoys just almost every day. Those two connoted real money, with UBE being violet as the 100 pesos, and Ninoy as the 500-peso card. Especially when the days when the server offered double or triple the normal exp.

At a later time, came new guilds as people come and go in our tambayan. A guild Delta Nu, where mostly everyone met by the tables was made. I was only dragged about by common friends, but I consider the experience one of the best memory of my childhood.

Here’s to one of my first WoE experiences in Ragnarok PH, Valkyrie server.

The necessary level 99 selfie:

Table groupies:

Endless Tower:


Job quest change:

Blind and leeching services:

War of Emperiums:

and even real life meet-ups, for crying out loud.

These were only some of the good times I had. Sadly, these photos are the only ones left as my RO folder has already been deleted and these were only preserved as photos uploaded on Facebook T_T

Hell my first cosplay was even the Archbishop of Ragnarok!!!!!! That’s how RO became part of my life and it’s the only game I can and will play even after many years.

But sentimentality aside, Ragnarok not only gave entertainment but promoted camaraderie between people from around the Globe. I met people from Ragnarok Online that I am still friends with even though we already quit playing. It also served as a means of income for some, with some personal experience in RMT or Real Money Trading, selling items, zennies and even whole accounts in exchange of real life cash.

Closing down the official pRO server triggers different emotions and nostalgia to a lot. Despite the range of private servers held by both local and international people, it’s a different level when you grow up in an official and non-high rate and exp server.

Hopefully, Level Up! Games will be able transfer pRO accounts to the International RO (iRO) servers for those who would still like to play. Sadly, the feeling won’t be as similar when you play with your countrymen.

But truly, Payon Tables, you will be missed.

Chinatown During the New Year

After chocolates, stuffed bears and flowers keeping the in-love somewhat extra romantic and the singles slapped with their statuses, shortly comes the firecrackers, ang pao‘s and tikoys that heightens the excitement even for the non-Chinese.

Chinatown, Binondo, is probably the heart of Chinese citizens, but somehow, people of all races come to this place once every year to take a tour, relax, and watch performances by talented artists despite the place being crowded like Divisoria.


Apparently, this photo does not say so much about how much people are here, but to the ends of the road as well as the other end behind me is full of people. And this only happens once a year.

Great performers and great performers wannabe gather up here in hopes of getting aguinaldos and tips from locals and tourists in the area.

Two of my favorite photos are these two groups of kids who were not the least bit hindered by their age and capacity into hoping to get coins, or even bills from watchers.


Not only did these kids took the attention of a lot of people, but they were able to make people circle around their performance as well as take photos of their sweet alternative way to earn.

These kids aside, are fire dancers, who despite the danger of what they’re doing, seem to get as much attention.

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Had to cartoonize that last photo because it was kinda blurry. Haha!

Schools as well as company advertisements paraded along Dasmarinas, Quintin Paredes and Ongpin.


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On the sides of the streets were equally determined vendors, aiming to gain extra from selling different things from keychains, wind chimes, fruits that is said to bring luck and colored chicks.. literally.


Of course, the real lion and dragon dances cannot be absent during such occasion. This sitting lion apparently, amuses me.


I was in luck to witness probably one of the longest dragon I’ve seen.

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Kuya Ronald, the one holding the first pole that has the ‘ball’ consists of 105 people holding it which took them around 3 months to make. Roughly 1.5 meters each interval… and with 105 people that’s over 150 meters.. imagine how long this thing is. Every year, as a tradition, these people from Sun Life Financial never fail to impress visitors of Binondo.

Chinese New Year, or whatever festival it may be, we cannot deny that these events provides opportunities, entertainment and a glimpse of our history in one occasion.