How Can Someone Not Think?

Remember telling yourself that you’ll be sleeping early tonight but the whole week passed and you’re still up until 2am? Then, with whatever twist of faith, one day, you had your lights out at 11pm to finally be able to fulfill that goal. Then you suddenly remember your conversation with your crush, a vacation you’re looking forward to, or just wondering why you painted your ceiling a bright green. When you decided to finally sleep, you notice the time already ticking at 1am. You are not alone.

In the last 3 years, I have had migraine, low blood pressure, heart burn, and the most recent muscle contraction tension headache. I have been wondering why, especially after resigning from my toxic 10/6 schedule then (10hrs a day/6-day work) why these are still present. The last two doctors I went to, told me “masyado kang mahilig mag-isip,” you’re too fond of thinking. After careful pondering, I realized they were actually right. And my nail biting habit just proves that.

photo from 1ms.net

Taking a shower makes you indulge deep into thoughts, I hear that common culture, for lack of better analogy, a lot. But TBH, so does taking a dump, the time when traveling or before heading to bed.

I have no idea how people meditate. How can someone empty their minds? How can someone not think, ponder, reflect or whatever especially for so long?

Whenever I sleep, I need to think of the word sleep, literally. Like actually performing an internal monologue where I say the words “tulog” repeatedly in my mind. It’s my way of emptying my mind to rest. The only time I don’t need to do this is when I’m feeling really exhausted from a whole day hike or extremely ill with a 40C fever.

So I wonder if this question is answerable, how do you stop thinking too much?

This is also probably the reason why my writing takes a lot of my time. I want to write different topics at the same time, and different things while writing a certain topic. In the end, I keep none of those thoughts. I need to be able to write it down on a scrap piece of paper or prioritize the more important concept because the idea will woosh away in less than 5 seconds. But because of this, even though my thoughts are spectacular (lol), everything tends to be flushed down because I want to keep all those thoughts I came across with at the same time knowing I won’t be able to remember it after. Screw me right? This is probably also the reason why I have extremely long sentences filled with commas and at times none and my managing editor, ate KC, back when I was still a part of our university student press chops off my sentences like hell. Haha!

It is the very reason why I hate writing article or book outlines even though they help a lot. Whenever I write, I literally just write, and when I come to my senses, that’s when I organize the thoughts so it won’t reflect my messy mind so much. And I just noticed that this is also the reason I also claimed the WP URL justlostinthoughts, so I’ll switch to that URL any time soon.

As much as I  want to consider it a rhetorical question, it’s not. It’s becoming a pain how I have to talk to myself to get some nice rest, or I’ll continue on thinking on everything else besides it. Organizing plans for tomorrow, scheduling my life in the next years to come, or cross-breeding a mice and a cat because why not. It goes random and ridiculous, as long as I think, and it’s a nonstop process. It is the very reason why I love Lelouch Vi Britannia of Code Geass. He loves to think, and for sure, if I come across someone who has the ability to read minds like Mao from the same show, I’ll surely be toast.

Hell, I can’t even properly lay down my thoughts on this post as there’s so much action in my mind and I’m unable to put it into words nor type it as fast as my mind is processing.

So, going back to the question, how can someone not think?

LOL, and despite the song as my BG music unrelated to this whole thought, I am asking, I know I’m not the only one (Sam Smith)

My First Doll Meet: The Manika Manila Prom 2015

I was in my 1st year college when I first saw a ball joint doll (BJD). I can’t remember exactly when or what event, but we were wandering in a cosplay convention where a table filled with dolls of all sizes came to view. Back then, I had no idea what they were, just as I know they cost tons according to my friend. I wanted one, of course. I was always a fan of dress-up games and paper dolls and was hiding that hobby from all my friends because I find it embarrassing. Then I realized, if I can’t have my little sister dress up for me, why not a doll, then? It is a legit hobby, right? I won’t be judged.. so much, at least.

But since these dolls cost a lot, how am I supposed to buy it with only a 100-peso allowance daily? I shook off the thought. When I reached my third year, I casually mentioned my wanting for these dolls to some friends, where little did I know, one of my classmate has a best friend who is a BJD enthusiast. Of course that made want BJD’s so much more. When I graduated college, after my second paycheck from work, I bought myself my own BJD I named Castiel Elize von Feuerbach, from Mirodoll. She arrived in October 13th of last year.

With only a few friends who are into BJDs, I was afraid of attending any doll official meets, there were a few since I had Castiel with me. I didn’t want to feel out-of-place, so I was always absent. That, until the notice for the Manika Manila Prom 2015 was announced. Few days before the event, I was already thinking of not going like usual. But then, I took the chance and asked a good friend, Ralph (Tadashi, LOL) to accompany me, which surprisingly, he agreed. Apologies for the unappealing photos as I was too lazy to post process them. XD We arrived at the venue, Pan de Amerikana, Katipunan, around 2pm. One by one, everyone else arrived and dolls were already standing and sitting all across the restaurant tables.

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I mean, literally. Here’s one of the first few photos I took

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This is Dawn and Yume, my friend Zhy’s dollies, and Quibble, ate Nix’s little kiddo. The very moment I saw Quib, i immediately felt I want my own Tiny BJD. Look at him. He’s the cutest!! Group picture! This is a photo of Zhy’s, ate Lev’s, Kanis’ and my own baby.

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Here are some more photos of BJDs brought by some more members of Manika Manila. DSC_1887 DSC_1858DSC_1848 DSC_1926 DSC_1919 DSC_1918 DSC_1916 DSC_1913 DSC_1911 DSC_1898 DSC_1901 DSC_1906 DSC_1890 DSC_1882 DSC_1896 DSC_1842DSC_1849DSC_1843 DSC_1914DSC_1868DSC_1909

Zhy is a fan of ate Alyssa’s Noah while Big Tala’s not around. Look at her face. Hahaha! DSC_1819

Here’s mydoll crush, Knoxx. It’s ate Nix’s doll. The best friends, Castiel and Dawn are very fond of him. :)) DSC_1873 DSC_1876

Did I mention my cellphone’s current wallpaper is Knoxx and Castiel now? Haha. I’m also a fan of another one of ate Nix’s doll, Starr.

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They are seriously heightening my expectations of gwapo even on human guys. XD Although I ship these two together, because fujoshi, that’s why.

It was a Saturday very well spent. Sadly, I was not able to wait for the awarding ceremony but it’s nice to know that some of those I voted won. I hope by the next meet, my baby boy is already with me.

Thanks a lot Manika Manila! These BJDs send happiness to everyone.

The Rants Over Presidency

Every 6 years, we vote for whoever we see fit for the presidential position. But as each term ends, it was as if we didn’t defend them before they ran for candidacy. We curse their unfulfilled platforms and regret wasting our precious votes for them in the first place.

I find it irritating how those who belong in the mid-lower C class, lie down in the dirty streets of just-about-anywhere for the rest of the day and expect to have a better life. Then, they blame whoever is in power and insist poverty (and the unending list of issues) is not resolved. We live in a third world country, but despite it’s actual meaning and the status of the countries that belong in it, the stereotype drives us down to being called poor. Well we are, right? Point is, we could always be poor and it’ll depend on our choices in life, but we can always stand up, work a little more than usual, and be a little less poorer than we were yesterday without the help of the government. We all want to be spoon-fed, but any easy task won’t work if we don’t.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a pro-PNoy nor any of his family tree’s supporter for that matter. I am not siding anyone but it bothers me a lot how everyone is putting the blame on the higher ups but fail to see themselves ruining their chances of getting a better life.

With the Fallen 44 SAF members, my mom and I couldn’t let go of the argument that PNoy has something to do with it. I for one, insisted that PNoy has no control over military decisions even with his position. Despite his probable opinion or justification over the matter then, the final decision still lies on the Director General of Philippine National Police. But despite this, people fail to see and realize that this is not a matter of presidential or a director general’s decision but rather a team that is just embodied by a single higher official to act as the official representation. Ever since the SAF news came, it’s as if the president never did anything right that made some people contest on his qualifications over the position where some even asks for him to come down.

But generally speaking, have we come to a point where we would agree that a certain person is best fitting for a position after his term? There was, and always will be someone who will see the wrong things and think of it as an ill choice of the voting community. No matter how fancy their platform sounds, or how great their missions, visions and achievements are, there will always be imperfections and at least one person will find the person unworthy of the position. No president can please everyone at the same time.  We will never ever be able to please everyone.

Those are just two of my concerns. There are several other criticisms and rants our government and president gets. From passing unimportant bills to hopefully fixing issues that can start with ourselves, like poverty. I am no Filipino by blood, but I am 100% Filipino by heart. And it kills my patriotic affection when I see Filipinos giving up on their own country and settling for simpler solutions like migrating. We seem to be satisfied on how something can affect us, our relatives and close friends, but not the wider perspective of our neighbors, acquaintances and countrymen, killing the chance of a better country that starts with the small entities of a nation.

The only question we need to answer is who is worth it for those imperfections and who is deserving for the troubles, bumpy rides, and risks the country is gonna experience for another 6 years to hopefully achieve the goal? One single question with no definite or correct answer, and we killed the chance of proving it wrong by settling for the easier life.

Killing Boredom in 20 ways

This is probably one of the most difficult problem to solve among poverty and political corruption.

When you’re a movie junkie, you probably would get bored since you’re already too updated with shows and have already watched them. Much like my movie-buddy who is occasionally bored and would PM me just to prevent himself from being idle. I joked him to separate the ingredients of 3-in-1 instant coffee and he would if he could. LOL. So I thought I’d make up a list of things you can do when you’re bored and dedicate this to him just so. Haha! This is for you kuya R. XD

  1. Stalk your friends and like their photos from way back 2005! It’ll surely spring up to your common friends’ news feed and will hit just the mark of friendly hating.
  2. Do some stretching. The actual exercise is good. But apparently, doing some stretching like how you would do in your morning routine feels great too.
  3. Write up a bucket list. Because why not? We all want to do something at least once in our life right? No matter how ridiculous it might be.
  4. Day dream. I don’t know if this is good or bad, but one thing I am sure of is it practices our creativity. Plus, you do want a sequel on the dream you had dating your long time crush right?
  5. Make your own song and annoy your sibling with it. Because irritating your siblings is the next best thing to pizza and BLT.
  6. Wear a shirt that says “Life” and hand out lemons. Need I say more?
  7. Read up your old blog posts or diary. Nothing’s funnier than ranting over your little sister eating the last piece of your favorite doughnut in the fridge.
  8. 9gag and 9gag TV! My personal favorite pastime.
  9. Roll on your bed… literally. I do this a lot. Haha! It’s fun.
  10. Write a poem. It doesn’t need to make sense. Random things in a stanza can sound interesting you know.
  11. Write a letter to your future self. Tell yourself your memorable experiences so far or a reminder to your “past” self.
  12. Take a bath and think of logical things. Like career… or family. Because taking a bath and deep-thinking goes well together as much as the shower and singing.
  13. Read facts and trivia. Everything’s interesting when you’re bored. It’s time to boost up some knowledge about random stuff.
  14. Message some high school friends and catch up. I know a lot of circles who drift away from each other after graduation. This is a good time to say hello.
  15. Cook. Look for recipes or try out your kitchen skills. You might discover a new dish that could beat Master Chefs.
  16. Look at old photo albums. Memories!
  17. Watch videos by HowToBasics on Youtube. Don’t ask. It’s entertaining.
  18. Clean up your e-mail. You don’t need to say it.. but we all know how messed up your e-mail is from all your registrations from social media accounts and subscribing to sites you don’t really read.
  19. Download fonts. This might be the most subjective of the list, I’m sorry. I fancy fonts. Besides, you’ll never know when you need to make a wedding invitation or something.
  20. Take selfies. Honestly I’m sleepy right now and can’t think of anything else. XD But this is one way, right?

Imma add some more on this list when I come up of something while being bored too. Ha.

My Things Have Personalities

We all have that one pillow, stuffed toy or a blanket that came from our childhood we can’t let go, even though it already served its purpose, or is already claiming retirement based on its current aesthetics. But those aside, at some point, you probably named it, the same as your best friend’s, or a favorite cartoon character, I don’t know. But one thing is sure, I, for one, named and still names my stuff.

My favorite pillow is Cyan, though it doesn’t hold any important detail why it’s named that way besides that my favorite pillow case that goes with it is a shade of blue.. I was 5 years old then and I rather keep it that way because it reminds me of the good times some 15 years ago.

I know some people who name their things just as I do. A close friend Gian calls his tablet, Tabby, FTW! Why? I dunno.

But then, I realized, it’s probably a way of personalizing what’s yours, like putting a part of yourself to it. Asking yourself what name goes well with this thing takes effort and time no matter how small it is. And you won’t exert effort or waste time like thinking of a name for something you don’t deem of importance.. you know, it’s like considering it as family.

TBH, I even give ALL my stuffed dolls their own personalities up until this day. I’m not sure if this is something only a kid does, but it has become a second nature for me whenever I gain something I deem of importance or sentimental value. It’s not something I announce to the world, but I thought being sentimental is something you can share.

I got an Eeyore stuffed doll from a friend way back first year high (2006), before I thought of giving it a name, a friend asked. Then I thought, “I’ll name it after you, bruh.” So my donkey, even though it’s supposed to be a guy, is named after my girl friend, Weena. Haha! She has a personality too. She’s rich and smart and is annoying in the sense that she’ll be rude to you when you’re stupid. She’s awfully jealous whenever she thinks someone will replace her as the favorite doll of the lot. And since a lot has come, she’s starting to be kinder to fit in.

Also, I instantly fell in love with a cream-colored bunny in a local shop near my place. I was thinking of a name on my way home and called her Kimberly eventually. She’s super adorable and kind. She loves Taekwondo and painting but hates school big time. She also has this thing for the letter W where she includes it in pronunciation of words such as Phowtow and Taekwondoww. Currently she’s rushing to paint eggs for Easter and should not be disturbed unnecessarily unless if it’s for her favorite food, chowkow. LOL.

My sister and I usually role play our stuffed dolls. Haha! This is the not-so-exposed-slash-girly-side of me. LOL! Don’t judge me. This is called practicing creativity. Haha!

Anyway, my point is, naming things and attaching personalities with them gives us the ability to share a part of our own self to it. We tend to care more about these things as well. I’m betting there are a lot who still don’t understand why this is necessary, but for some, it’s just also a way of knowing themselves as well. Their identity, way of thinking and how they manage things around them. We name our pets. Why not our things? When it’s not living it doesn’t mean it’s dead. It still serves its purpose to us and a little appreciation such as naming doesn’t cost us a lot.

Ragnarok PH: Payon Tables You Will Be Missed

Patintero, piko, tumbang preso, chinese garter, and a lot more were part of the 90’s kids’ childhood. That was over a decade ago, when kids loved to play outdoors with their neighbors, or indoors with bahay-bahayan, board games, and pogs. But soon enough, modernity caught up with these kids, where they became inclined with computers and technological games were introduced.

I was in grade 4, way back 2003 when I first played Ragnarok Online (RO) at a computer shop near our place. Those were the days when I thought that those who owned cellphones, even with antennas, were considered of upper-class, and those with DSL connection were God-like.

The sad truth is, pRO is going to be shut down by end of March according to the this article from Level Up! Games. The news is truly saddening, as this game was a huge part of a lot of childhood memories.

I remember, there were only pay-to-play (P2P) servers then, and since I was only 10 years old, I had no capacity to pay for prepaid cards, more so spend money and time inside computer shops. I was only able to play once with the help of my brother then, spamming over status points where I didn’t even know what they were for. Lol.

Fast forwarding, in my first year in High school around 2006, I was introduced with pRO or Philippine Ragnarok Online, by again, my sibling. Franchised by Level Up! Games from the International RO as a free-to-play (F2P) server. We still didn’t have DSL connection then, and I would often see myself spending my week’s allowance for ISP Bonanza cards worth 100php for 20 hours. I was often mad when someone calls at home as it disrupts the connection, and reconnecting takes time. Good old days…

When we finally had a proper internet connection, my brother and I would often find ourselves arguing and fighting on who will use the PC then. He would often be scolded too because he is the kuya and he should understand. My bro probably hated me then.

Prontera was filled with vending merchants then. Ai programs such as bots were more than the people actually playing, and those actually playing are mostly hanging out in various towns to just sit and talk with virtual friends. It was indeed a channel where you meet people you can jive with.

Whenever I come home from school, I would often boot the PC, click on pRO Valkyrie server, select my main character, a priestess, then, and hang out with people from Payon Town tables. Our friends even often joked about how we will all be max leveled if only sitting down to hang out had base and job experience for our characters.

Here’s my favorite spot, the lower left corner of the first table from the Kafra Employee NPC.

I tailed my sib into a guild that just started with strangers who had a common tambayan. Several guilds were made, all with different purposes. From Player Vs. Player (PVP), Player Vs. Monster (PVM), harvesting, brotherhood and War of Emperium (WoE).

I don’t spend as much as some friends I have who would often buy UBEs or Ninoys just almost every day. Those two connoted real money, with UBE being violet as the 100 pesos, and Ninoy as the 500-peso card. Especially when the days when the server offered double or triple the normal exp.

At a later time, came new guilds as people come and go in our tambayan. A guild Delta Nu, where mostly everyone met by the tables was made. I was only dragged about by common friends, but I consider the experience one of the best memory of my childhood.

Here’s to one of my first WoE experiences in Ragnarok PH, Valkyrie server.

The necessary level 99 selfie:

Table groupies:

Endless Tower:

Leveling:

Job quest change:

Blind and leeching services:

War of Emperiums:

and even real life meet-ups, for crying out loud.

These were only some of the good times I had. Sadly, these photos are the only ones left as my RO folder has already been deleted and these were only preserved as photos uploaded on Facebook T_T

Hell my first cosplay was even the Archbishop of Ragnarok!!!!!! That’s how RO became part of my life and it’s the only game I can and will play even after many years.

But sentimentality aside, Ragnarok not only gave entertainment but promoted camaraderie between people from around the Globe. I met people from Ragnarok Online that I am still friends with even though we already quit playing. It also served as a means of income for some, with some personal experience in RMT or Real Money Trading, selling items, zennies and even whole accounts in exchange of real life cash.

Closing down the official pRO server triggers different emotions and nostalgia to a lot. Despite the range of private servers held by both local and international people, it’s a different level when you grow up in an official and non-high rate and exp server.

Hopefully, Level Up! Games will be able transfer pRO accounts to the International RO (iRO) servers for those who would still like to play. Sadly, the feeling won’t be as similar when you play with your countrymen.

But truly, Payon Tables, you will be missed.

Chinatown During the New Year

After chocolates, stuffed bears and flowers keeping the in-love somewhat extra romantic and the singles slapped with their statuses, shortly comes the firecrackers, ang pao‘s and tikoys that heightens the excitement even for the non-Chinese.

Chinatown, Binondo, is probably the heart of Chinese citizens, but somehow, people of all races come to this place once every year to take a tour, relax, and watch performances by talented artists despite the place being crowded like Divisoria.

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Apparently, this photo does not say so much about how much people are here, but to the ends of the road as well as the other end behind me is full of people. And this only happens once a year.

Great performers and great performers wannabe gather up here in hopes of getting aguinaldos and tips from locals and tourists in the area.

Two of my favorite photos are these two groups of kids who were not the least bit hindered by their age and capacity into hoping to get coins, or even bills from watchers.

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Not only did these kids took the attention of a lot of people, but they were able to make people circle around their performance as well as take photos of their sweet alternative way to earn.

These kids aside, are fire dancers, who despite the danger of what they’re doing, seem to get as much attention.

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Had to cartoonize that last photo because it was kinda blurry. Haha!

Schools as well as company advertisements paraded along Dasmarinas, Quintin Paredes and Ongpin.

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On the sides of the streets were equally determined vendors, aiming to gain extra from selling different things from keychains, wind chimes, fruits that is said to bring luck and colored chicks.. literally.

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Of course, the real lion and dragon dances cannot be absent during such occasion. This sitting lion apparently, amuses me.

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I was in luck to witness probably one of the longest dragon I’ve seen.

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Kuya Ronald, the one holding the first pole that has the ‘ball’ consists of 105 people holding it which took them around 3 months to make. Roughly 1.5 meters each interval… and with 105 people that’s over 150 meters.. imagine how long this thing is. Every year, as a tradition, these people from Sun Life Financial never fail to impress visitors of Binondo.

Chinese New Year, or whatever festival it may be, we cannot deny that these events provides opportunities, entertainment and a glimpse of our history in one occasion.

21 but still a preschooler

15 years ago, the only problems I had were how to get more than three very good star stamps at the back part of my hand and how to pass time pretending to sleep during afternoon siestas. But now I’d exchange important things in my life to be back and stuck in those days.

Ever since I was in elementary, I hated the idea of waking up early to go to school every. single. day. All my life then, I felt I was wasting time pretending to listen to teachers who knew nothing about how a child feels. I just want to go home and watch recorded episodes of Popeye and Tom and Jerry with our VHS player, and be lazy in front of the television. I even earned my first pair of eyeglasses at an early age of 7 years old through those routine. But then, I even have my own yaya to treat me with candies and get me to school or fix up boo-boo’s I get when I fall. Easy life.

I have had my first crush in first grade, a tall, cute guy, I’d like to call Chris. A crush that lasted till I was in high school. I thought, so this is what they call “first love never dies.” I let out a chuckle with the idea.

In my late elementary days, I remember I was continuously complaining why I only had a cellphone when I reached grade 6, and it was just a Nokia 3310 when my classmates had colored phones. Have had a few arguments with my classmates who I knew were just in the state of feeling magaling. I thought I understood what that meant then.

Having a 200-peso allowance per week when you’re already in high school was surely one of the things I hated. We still didn’t have a DSL connection so imagine me playing Ragnarok Online with ISP Bonanza that costs 100php for a few hours. To top it off is getting disconnected whenever one of my mother’s clients decides it was necessary to call at home. Seriously, I was not skipping recess and breaks to get disconnected while I was leveling my characters in Payon Dungeon. I almost hated my parents on how my allowance was so little when they had not much to spend on except for schooling and food at home.

It was also the time I first fell in love. You meet people who you can jive with and all you have to do is make each other happy and contented. Life was simple.

I had consecutive failing grades in Math from my first to fourth year in high school. I was My parents were required to pay 5-10 thousand pesos just for me to reach the next year through Summer Classes. I heard constant sermons on how I was not doing well, but still end up the same every single year. I even added another subject, Science, to my Summer classes during my third and fourth year. And yet, another of those sermons I hear. I always complained that I did my best but was just not lucky enough to pass due to unskilled teachers I had.

I remember how I disliked the idea that my parents didn’t want me to go to prom because it was expensive. But 3000php isn’t much, right?

I realized, life is not as simple as it is. Because it’s not easy to make your partner happy and contented. Hearts break and they’re not as easy to mend like a boo-boo.

When I finally graduated, I felt slightly encouraged. I was only 4 years away from working. I can finally go independent, save up, marry, and waste money on a European tour.

During my first year, it was the time that all my infantile thinking sink in. Spending 20-pesos for one plate in Fine Arts was not so much, but we had multiple plates, with multiple subjects, each with different requirements. It felt as if I was begging for money from my mother for the supplies. But then I thought, it was almost always less than 1000 a month. It’s not that heavy like how my mother complains.

I still had my childish ways then, though. I cut classes when I want, and had a dazzling 5.0 on a minor subject I wasn’t attending. It reminded me of my high school days.

In my second year, I met people who influenced me to study better. I knew it was a good start as I was starting to realize I should and could be doing better than four 3.0’s on major subjects like my second semester in first year. I exerted a little effort in studying and together with that was the start of my online boutique.

It was a tough ride, yes. When you have no clients or just one for months. Doing business was not as easy as I thought it would be. But I realized, having one was at least, a start, right? But earning 300 pesos for going to and from Divisoria to QC was not worth it. I realized, the time and effort I put in is not enough. I even had to shoulder one of my first orders due to the fact I miscalculated expenses. But then, 200php to shoulder wasn’t that big, right?

One time during my third year, my mother asked me to come with her as she goes to find new clients. I wanted to complain why I had to, but knew I was going to end up with a mouthful of sermon, so I came with her.

During the time, when my mom was conversing with people and got rejected for her offers, I felt a tear trying to escape my eyes. I never had the idea my mom had to put so much effort just to get clients and I thought her stories were exaggerated to get me to be a kinder daughter.

But of course that was not enough for the immature me not to feel extremely selfish. I honestly have had a few kickbacks whenever I ask for money for school projects. I wanted to eat a lot and buy things I like, of course. It wasn’t so much since I don’t want to be too obvious, but I did those quite a few times.

In my fourth year, I was honestly feeling the burden of everything. From stress levels going on maximum, and spending a lot for the completion of the thesis. My mom still complained, but I always told her at the back of my mind, “Last na to, gagraduate na ko, ‘wag ka na magreklamo.”

During the time, I felt I needed all the time in the world. My orders were piling up and due to thesis and personal expenses, I was already spending money from my shop. I was already very late with order deadlines, and had to settle for a few refunds instead. I had to collect over 7000php to pay up for things. I didn’t ask for help from my mom because I knew I’d just get another sermon.

3 months before graduation, in January, I was already in search for my first full time job. Thought to myself, it’s easy. Diskarte lang ‘yan. But when I reached March and still no replies from possible employers, I felt I was a lonely piece of useless trash. But then, no worries, I still had time and hooray because I’ll be able to buy all the things I want. Ha!

When I had my first full time job, I was excited. I was already making a mental list of where to spend it. Then realized the 7000php debt to people I needed to pay. That was when it hit me. My first pay check flew away and my month’s worth of effort were thrown to waste. But it didn’t matter, because I still have the next month for myself.

At a later time, I knew I needed to help with house expenses. I give 30% from my net income for house expenses. I knew that was already enough since we were all sharing with expenses.

Shortly after that, the bad news came. All of us had to put double, triple efforts to pay house expenses that I never knew would be so much. Electricity bills, house rent, monthly groceries and sorts. Who knew we had those when as a child, I knew we only needed food and the others do not cost so much.

200php miscalculated waste of money is not so much, but when efforts I put up to earn are being sent to pay for bills is a different story. It makes me sad, but I can’t imagine the effort my parents, especially my mom has to put up to every single day for our daily expenses.

I realized, eyeglasses are not cheap, and I had one when I was 7 and several pairs up until this day. Love doesn’t come as easy as sleeping princesses or when the clock strikes 12. The 200 peso allowance I had was actually still generous. And the prom fee would have been enough rice sustenance for 5 months and kickbacks I had would have been a day’s worth of food. Those disconnected internet connections were important to sustain us and those wasted five to tens of thousands on my Summer classes would have been enough for a semester’s tuition fee.

To be honest, the idea of responsibility has not completely sink in with me yet but I surely I fear if I couldn’t be a super mom like my mother is, able to handle stress on all levels yet put a smile on her face like there’s not much to do. I am scared, that everything will be too late before I realize what I need to do.

There were so many things that we thought was easy, uncomplicated when we were little. But as much as we want to go back to the days when all we had to care about are ourselves, it’s different- way different. My excitement during college years wanting to finally work and buy things I want is not as amusing and realistic as it can be. You won’t be able to convince your boss that you can’t do the project because you have another project with another subject going on nor tell yourself that you’re too lazy to work and expect to get paid like how it used to when we were studying.

Responsibilities will surely catch right up with you. If you’re not ready, you might end up getting boo-boo’s that won’t get treated with a yaya but rather mails for disconnection notices or a million heart breaks rolled in one day.

Reality is way way scarier than it really is and I fear to be too late before I realize what is really happening.

Baby cards handmade

Apart from my usual blog submissions, I have come to the point where I’m posting irrelevant topics due to an experience I had lately.

For details on that issue, you may read HERE.

Baby cards handmade

Pastel pink and blue, rubber ducks, cute dogs, cats, and elephant drawings, diapers, rattles and mobile hangers comes to one conclusion- babies. These adorable infants are to make their ways into the homes of newlyweds, or be given to any blessed couples.

“A baby fills a place in your heart that you never knew was empty,” is one of the many quotes that reached the World Wide Web. It just proves how babies come to homes and bring joy.

If you have a neighbor, a cousin or a friend who has an upcoming daughter or son in their home, it might be the best time to congratulate them by giving baby cards handmade for just that occasion.

These baby cards handmade to fit the celebration are provided with designs that fit a baby’s nature. Designs used are carefully selected, from colors, to textures, embellishments, fonts, selection of raw materials down to each detail. Each one is thoroughly planned and executed to provide a guaranteed quality product for satisfaction.

A congratulatory baby card handmade represents the effort, artistry, love, and the child itself as much as the effort needed for raising the baby. The card itself greets the parents, and in a few years to come upon the baby’s encounter of this gift will give himself a good smile as he recalls how behave or naughty he was back then.

A variety of cards suited for a baby of any gender and personality is what this baby card handmade of through the selection of necessary materials and the exertion of the effort by the craftsman to meet a quality standard. Any neighbor, cousin or friend will surely appreciate the effort of a gift that will symbolize and remind them of their child from his or her birth and as he or she grows through the years to come.

Anniversary handmade cards

Apart from my usual blog submissions, I have come to the point where I’m posting irrelevant topics due to an experience I had lately.

For details on that issue, you may read HERE.

anniversary handmade cards

Celebrating anniversary is a testament of your love for the years that went by. It’s the very sign that proves and makes us remember exactly what happened 1, 2, 3, 10, or even 50 years ago, and those moments are precisely why it should not be left uncelebrated. Thus, something that is worth those years is important among anything else.

Though anniversaries vary a lot and do not always mean wedding, the occasion is usually necessary for a day of remembrance. We have corporate anniversaries or maybe even friendship anniversaries and a lot more that any of us may think is necessary. No matter what the occasion is what is one day to reminisce from 365 days of one year or one anniversary handmade card for that, anyway?

A romantic candlelit dinner, a movie, a stroll in the mall or a night cruise at bay are the safest bet, we can’t deny that it’s the most commonly picked celebration as well. Something worth keeping years after that are not photographs or the memory itself is probably better in more ways than none.

Your co-worker celebrates her first anniversary in your company as her first job. Why not congratulate her with a job anniversary handmade card to make her feel appreciated? Perhaps she is well hard-working and is of great company to you and this card might just compliment how you feel for her.

You can also greet your parent’s with wedding anniversary handmade cards to remind them of their first day of meeting each other. Something that will certainly make your mom and dad remember their first date and their first and last wedding.

You can also give these anniversary handmade cards as another token of compassion for the year well spent. An addition to a cake, a bag, a pair of new shoes, a trip to Europe or just about anything can also work just as effectively without. Since each card is invested with effort, time, passion, creativity, it is more or less a guaranteed quality partnered with affordability. The best part is, it’s not limited to wedding anniversaries but also cater to different ages, occasions and even the littlest specifics in general.